So, it has been almost 24 hours since I started this and the sky has not fallen, so I think I'll be OK to keep going. Lots of folks have asked me "Why are you bogging?" and "What are you going to talk about?". Well, my friends, I think I'm doing this because.....I want to.....and writing is something I have not done in years. I remember I used to write a journal and while that was a long time ago, I thought, why not? And maybe while I'm writing and sharing, I can learn new stuff and help someone else.
So....Today's theme is going to be Food Addiction. What the heck is that anyways? We hear the terms in counseling settings, support groups, on the web...but what the heck? Now I'm sure that there are going to be folks who know way more than I do who are going to be able to explain the actual biomechanics of the addicive process in our brains and how the neurotransmitters are affected by the different chemical processes that happen once they are triggered by certain other chemicals that is in the food...and on and on and on. I do not doubt that there is science out there that has shown that the same type of process happens with food as happens with alcohol and other drugs. I'm not going to go into that. What I do know is that for me...in my own experience....food has been something that has soothed my soul, been my silent friend, boosted my mood, and then become my ultimate enemy. Much in the same way that alcohol did.
12 step circles call addiction an illness. Something that is both biological as well as mental/emotional/spiritual. The biological part is that the body reacts differently for those who are addicted then those who aren't. Its called an allergy. Lets take strawberries, or nuts. People who are allergic to those things have definite physical reactions, which could be life threatening. For a food addict, there may or may not be a physical reaction right away, but because of the emotional stuff that goes on, eventually there is definite physical reaction. Usually that is in the form of serious gut pain. But lets go back to the person who is allergic to strawberries or nuts....when they figure out they are allergic to it, do they keep eating it?? I THINK NOT. Generally speaking, someone who is allergic to the point that it could threaten their lives, has no problem staying away from that which could kill them. With the food addict, though, its not like that. The food addict has this mental compulsion that keeps that person eating even when they are screaming on the inside to stop. There is a sense of absolute powerlessness and no control over being able to push that food away. Another thing that will differentiate the food addict from the non-food addict......how often do you go to the store, swearing you are NOT going to go on a secret binge, you do really good through your shopping trip, but you keep walking by that one thing.....(recent experience was red vines)....and all of a sudden, you are in the car, opening up the package and eating what you can before you get home....hiding what you have bought, hoping no one will notice the bits of whatever in your teeth? Or, you are trying to be so good, so you are buying all sorts of something that is "good for you", but instead of following the serving suggestion, you just can't stop and you keep eating it...telling yourself that its "OK" cause it is "good for you"?
Perhaps the need is emotional and once you start to eat something you start to actually have a definite mood shift...so you eat more of (insert food of choice here) to experience more of a mood shift. And the cycle goes on and on only to get to a point where whatever it is that you eat to shift your mood doesn't do that anymore and instead of having a better mood, you start to actually hate who you are and who you have become. Unfortunately, the cycle is in place and you don't really remember that whatever the food was didn't work anymore, so you try again another time only to have the rollercoaster start all over again.
So what makes this different from alcohol and drugs when it comes to the mental obsession? We can live perfectly fine without alcohol and drugs. We have to have food to survive. So really the only way to recover from the food addiction is to have a new relationship with food. We have to learn to eat to live rather than live to eat. (I know....cliche). I have to say that if it were that easy, I wouldn't be writing about this topic, I wouldn't have had weight loss surgery, and I wouldn't be struggling with regain.
This has been my experience. So this is where the journey begins. I am Kyle and I am a food addict.
No comments:
Post a Comment